[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

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ScatteredDreams cascade down the slippery-slope of
humanity's riches.
We tumble blindly after them.
What if a cow were its own blade of grass?
Would it grow, or disappear?
Why should these thoughts defile these pages
any more than those filled with religious
fervor bomb blasphemous buildings?
Even evolution has found a crack to slip
into every crevice of an act.
One mind is not more or less than another.
Enlighten the Ignorant!
I do believe I shall slip into the cracks
in the floor.
Barbie's head melts just the same as Ken's.
[This goes nowhere.]

Stalemate.Stalemate.
Slouching within a redwood forest.
The trees have faces
that stare over your head.
If I could be a plant, I would be
a Venus Flytrap.
Girls are from Venus, after all.
Venus bleeds while Mars continues
the Orbit "Machismo".
I'd trap flies with honey
but my mouth is dry.
The vinegar is from my second mouth.
"VAGINA DENTATA!" They scream in horror.
Every month I bite my tongue,
Pull my skirt a little longer.

I am just another tree.

A Manipulation of YarnThe end of the yarn unravels,
each strand a various colour.
They wind it back up-- twisting/turning--
Now to loop the world around the needle.
So many loops...
Row after row, patterns woven together--
Patterns of pictures of patterns.
...Alas! A pearl appears, backwards and
separate.
Though they still speak of patterns.
But, isn't all of this just freehand?
Another row begu-
Oops. Dropped a stitch.
What happens now?
Someone might suggest a thing will come after
to fill it. Someone.

Now the yarn is piling up,
and the roll coming to an end.
Are we really done?

SolitaryStark & Vulnerable, I stand struck.
I hide myself in the abyss of my
mind, calling out for warmth.
It's cold here. There is nothing here.
Days turn black & still I run
from everything else.
The world is crashing down so
I cower back into the recesses
of fear.
Hypocrites gurgle nonsense in
the form of hell-fire, their
spawn eating away the hopes &
dreams of the many--
the few are also spawn.
I feel I should perish.
I feel I should not feel--
We are broken.
The glass in the window shatters &
the hornets kill us with their screams.
What have we to do?
Large land is empty of freedom.
We are d

The Lifeless DreamEyes-- staring, searching
blank and faded.
The colour has been slowly
seeping out and down
into the ground.
They said that you're only sleeping,
but if that's true, then
why are your eyes open?
When I shake you,
why won't you jump up?
"Get out of my room!"
Say it
like you used to.
If you're sleeping, what do you dream?
Silky clouds and flying sex
or nothingness?
This is my new nightmare--
and you are my nothing.

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[x]

i am imploding.

by ~xXzemiaXx, Dec 4, 2012, 6:07:03 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

i am imploding.
Tendrils of Smoke
weighed down by
expectation.
Crushed by
happiness.
Underneath i am empty.
A shell
broken open
to reveal death--
withering decay of
thought.
'me' is gone,
lost
in a vortex of change.
How can i find Me
on the other side?
How can i find You
here?

i am imploding.by ~xXzemiaXx

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2012-2013 ~xXzemiaXx

I'm in one of those moods where I just want to ball up in layers of warmth, burn some incense, and blast Dead Meadow-- so that's exactly what I'm doing.
Spat this out in the process.

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

Mood: Love

~jazzygrrl Dec 5, 2012

We need to set up a sleep over to talk about our feels. <3

Reply

Mood: Longing

~xXzemiaXx Dec 5, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

yesyesyes

Reply

~jazzygrrl Dec 5, 2012

<3 Dead Meadow

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